Seymour Rambles About Sexuality in the Church

I couldn't have put it better myself, so I wont. Below is a post I copied from my buddy Chase Moore (C. Moore=Seymour).

Chew on this:

It’s time to begin discussing sexuality in our churches, small groups, friend groups, and relationships. For far too long the church has swept issues such as pornography, masturbation, and homosexuality under the rug; labeling them as “taboo.” To be honest, I think this is one of the biggest strongholds that the enemy has on the body of Christ; using fear and embarrassment to keep brothers and sisters from sharing what is really going on regarding their sexuality.

Let’s talk about pornography and masturbation to junior high and high school students - they have all seen the stuff already. Let’s talk about body image and the way God sees women to young girls who are struggling with eating disorders and abusive relationships. Let’s talk about homosexuality to the congregation and welcome gays and lesbians into our doors. Let’s learn how to have healthy sexual relationships according to how God wants us to do it, not how the world says to do it.

The longer these things are hidden, the more destructive they will be - period. Women, I encourage you to seek out your mentor or friends to talk to. Men, I encourage you to do the same. (Just don’t go to your boyfriend/girlfriend and spill about your addiction to porn, things will get real messy.)

Let us begin the process of learning not only how to love better, but how to enjoy God’s gift of sex and sexuality the way he intended it to be because if you haven’t figured it out by now, he created us as sexual beings.

Thankful for honesty, humility, embarrassment, healing, awkwardness, and tearing down strongholds of the enemy.

Thankful for: Dudes like Chase

Pornography -- "An illegitimate stoking of a legitimate fire"

Dr. Piper weighs in...



What are your thoughts?

Oprah and Porn: Adventures in Missing the Point

Did you watch Oprah today? Yeah, me neither. However, I did hear that she devoted the entire show to women and pornography. Apparently, all she did was condone the viewing of porn and didn't warn against it once. Craig, from XXXChurch, wrote a great post challenging Oprah to tell the whole story. To tell about the pain and heartache that pornography causes. To tell of the distorted and unrealistic perceptions that porn causes us to hold. To tell of the millions of lives, marriages, and relationships that have been devastated at the hands of pornographers.

1 in 3 viewers of online porn are women. What does that tell us? It tells us that the market is growing and changing into things that we never dreamed it would be. It tells us that the apathy of humanity is strengthening and growing faster and faster every day. It tells us that things are going to get a whole lot worse before they get better.

I'd say Oprah missed the point. She missed a golden opportunity to challenge women to live sexually and emotionally healthy lifestyles.

Bottom Line: Porn is a distortion of reality. It will only serve to confuse, disappoint and break us down. Jesus is hope. He offers cleaning and a freedom that we can't even begin to imagine. He is our Refuge, our Stronghold and our Rock. He is our Renewal, our Rescue and our Redemption.

What do you think about all this? Be honest

Porn Debate

XXX Church and Ron Jeremy will debate pornography on Facebook LIVE in 20 minutes!

**Note: the content of these debates are often times graphic and viewer discression is advised.

Sexuality is something we all have in common. Pornography is twisting and distorting the sexuality of more and more people every single day. Stay informed! Be a part of the conversation. Your sexuality is not a secret. Everyone knows you have one. Deal with it.

Freedom From Porn and Sexual Addiction

This is the coolest story of freedom I think I've ever heard. It's worth your time whether you are addicted to porn or not.

More on Porn and Sexuality in General

The last time I wrote about porn I wrote concerning married men. What about men who are not married? What the heck are they supposed to do? The married man needs to get over his fantasy world because he has a covenant relationship with a woman who was created to satisfy him sexually. The unmarried man doesn't have this outlet. Sounds a little unfair doesn't it? I hope after reading this you'll see that the unmarried man have the opportunity experience the same victory over sexual lust as the married man, but by different means.

The reason why you and I know almost nothing about how porn and lust affects us and the reason why the very words I'm writing makes some of you uncomfortable is because the church has historically done an embarrassingly terrible job in handling human sexuality. Even some of the latest and trendiest books that have come out on this subject have essentially said, "You're a dude and you're going to deal with lust. Just try to keep it to a minimum." Funny, I don't seem to remember Jesus telling us to keep sin to a manageable minimum. 1 Peter 1:13-16 says,

"13 Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance,15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,16 since it is written, You shall be holy, for I am holy."

So, why is lust such a big deal? Why can't we battle it effectively? I think the first problem is in our unwillingness to talk about it. Human sexuality is a taboo subject in many Christian circles and I think that perpetuates the issue. If we can't be open about the sin in our lives, it will remain in us and destroy us from the inside out. I'm not just talking about confession here. We need to be OK with discussing sexuality in general as it pertains to all of mankind. Both women and men need to be able to discuss it openly. Our sexuality is one thing that we all have in common and it was given to us by our Creator. That makes it beautiful.

Secondarily, married and unmarried men alike have to stop copping out and saying it's something they'll never conquer. If that's your attitude, you must not know the same Jesus I do. Now, hear me out for a second. Do I mean that we can eliminate sin in our lives? No really. What I'm trying to say is we need to call sin sin and temptation temptation. Yes, you will never be able avoid temptation. Certain kinds of temptation can be avoided but there's a point at which temptation is mustered up from within us and we can't control that. What you can control, through the power of Christ and Him alone, is what you do with that temptation. The terms you use can really help in this situation. When temptation comes along and you call it lust, all you've done is handed the enemy a victory and given up. If you call temptation what it is and then react appropriately, you have a fighting chance of not giving into it.

If lust ceases to be a secret that Christian men can only talk about with their accountability partner (a model I have yet to see work effectively) it will remain undealt with. If we call temptation sin then we have no time to react properly to it because we feel as though we have already given in. Sexuality is as normal and common as a heartbeat. Everyone's got one and it's no secret. It's time we stop pretending the elephant isn't in the room. It's time we start finding a healthy way to react to it. I realize this doesn't provide any really concrete, practical methods for how to abstain from lust and porn. These are some beginning steps that I've implemented throughout the years and have found them rather helpful. My victories is life are always a result taking a new perspective on things. When we see things the way they are supposed to be seen (through the eyes of Scripture) everything changes.

I'll be posting more on this again soon. Click on the Facebook link to the right of this post, find my profile, send me a message if you want to talk about this more specifically. Or just leave a comment on this post if you are ready to talk openly about this issue.

Thankful for: an opportunity to react healthily to temptation.

Porn on the Radio

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I slipped into the drivers seat of our Jeep Cherokee last night after meeting with my 9th grade small group and headed towards a local Gelato shop to meet my wife and in-laws. The radio was programmed to a local station that plays mixed music but all I heard at the time was talking. A woman's voice posed the question, "How should women feel and react when they discover that their husbands are looking at porn regularly?" I turned up the volume and frantically tried to dial the number that she had announced for listeners to call in. I've never called a radio staion in my life because I usually don't care to broadcast my worst date story to strangers and I'll open iTunes if I want to request a song for myself. This time was different though. I'm not sure if I've ever had a stronger oppinion on a question asked by a radio host. Unfortunately, I misunderstood the phone number she spouted off and called some number that had been disconnected instead. So I listened and couldn't beleive what I heard.

The first woman that called in said, "My husband looks at porn once a week. I know about it and we are both fine with it. I think it's unhealthy to refuse him that need." I almost drove into a tellephone pole. Did I really hear what I thought I did? I pulled into a parking lot so I wouldn't miss any more of this shocking dialog. The second lady that called in said, "It's better that he look at porn than cheat on me with another woman. I'd rather him fantasize about a woman that he'll never meet than about his secretary that he'll see every day." I would have given anything for that phone number I had heard to work. At this point I was yelling at the radio in a parking lot, with the windows down. Some starnge looks floated my way from passersby.

The third caller was a dude named Mark. Ironically, the only man that called into the show was also the only one who had a brain in their skull. Mark said, "It's not healthly. That man will always have unrealistic expectations for his wife." Thank you Mark! As people continued to call in I was completely dumbfounded by the idiocy of our society. Have women just given up? Are they throwing in the towel because there doesn't seem to be any guys out there who respect them? Have the men in our society ceased to be men and instead turned to boyish alternatives and feeble attempts to meet their needs? I was upset.

A married man who openly confesses regular and addictive viewing of pornography without seeking to make a change is an egomaniacle coward at best. He lacks the courage and discipline to respect his wife. He has forfeited his God-given ability to lead and has surrendered to his nature. He has taken the easy route as opposed to the honorable route. A wife who knowingly approves of her husband's regular and addictive viewing of pornography is a cowardly doormat at best. She has forfeited any respect for herself that she once had and has given her husband a green light to ruin their marriage.

Pornography is one of the most potent drugs on the market today and it is offered to anyone for free anytime and anywhere. It is as if someone was on every school campus in the world, ever mall parking lot, and in everyone's living room handing out free and unlimited cocaine to anyone who wants it. It is that addictive and that detrimental. For a married couple to agree that pornography is a normal male activity and should be encouraged is one of the saddest things I've ever heard. Our postmodern culture has convinced us that the easiest way is the right way. Whatever creates the least amount of conflict or tension or hurts the least amount of feelings is the way you should go. Morality is a dying entity. We have forfeited the notion that absolute morality exists and therefore we have made divorce machines like pornography a relative issue.

God created us with a need for intimacy. That need is very real and very alive in us. Pornography is a cheap, illegitimate way to meet that need. It will never satisfy like true intimacy. It will never be enough and you will always be searching for the next best high. God ordained marriage in the very beginning and met one of our greatest needs in doing that. Pornography is to married intimacy as masturbation is to married sex. It is nothing more than a cheap, illegitimate substitute that will only leave us wanting.

Free Book About Porn and Masturbation

Thankful for: Having a need met by my wife and not a computer screen